He once said to me “If we would get everything what we want we wouldn't have anything left for dreaming”. Dreaming is nice, there’s always place for dreaming, true. But is also nice to get what you want, to be honest.
I love dreaming, about my future, about extreme situations that hardly will ever come true, but hey, as long as I can imagine them… Everything is possible in this little head of mine.
I can’t really say if I once dreamt about me being a mom, I might have. Know I imagine our baby girl. I dream of the things we’ll do together, the places we’ll visit and how nice it will be to feel her tiny arms around me. Mmmmm
I never dreamt of us, being a "happy ever after couple", you know sort of
But I guess we’ll do just fine. What else could I ask for? Well, that’s a tricky question members of the jury, of course I could ask for many things. But so far, I just want things to go as smooth and nicely as they do now.
Yesterday it was belly dancing for pregnant women. First time. Plenty of “panza mujeres” and me shaking our hips and butts, up and down, round and round. It turned out to be a great experience, lost of laughs and good vibrations. I took my mom with me, she’s visiting this week. It was fun. A pity I don’t speak better Czech, but still sometimes the language is not such a big barrier.
My tummy is getting huge and is not always very easy to get use to it, but its feels great. I still haven’t felt the baby moving, or maybe I have but I’m not sure. I feel so many things at the moment. I love being a “panza mujer”.The pic is from Arthur de pins, check his site, he has interesting stuff.
Since we are little, I think every girl dreams of the idea of being a mom one day. Maybe it’s not really in our minds at that time, but amongst our first toys there’s always that baby doll and its bunch of accessories. So far we all seem to enjoy it. I had one myself, “Nenuco”. I remember I had a bottle which he drank from, a potty to wee on, and he blew bubbles when you pressed one of the hands. I spent so much time playing with him. I don’t know if I ever give him name, I guess i did, but I can’t remember it…
Then you grow up, and the baby doll ends up somewhere in the back of your closet. Guess my mom gave it away.
Years later, you a start dating and suddenly being a mom becomes one of your first fears. You do everything it’s needed, and everyone wears what they have to wear, but still you’re afraid of those little buddies. So you take the pill, but still, you worry. I remember the first time I bought a test, I was so stressed. How many ways are there to pee on a stick? Still you wonder if you did it right!
Then, a day comes when you feel the call of nature and… naaa that's bullshit. One day you simply realize it would be great to have a little one around, someone half you, half him. That little person that will call you mom, and ask you things like “why so many of the children in his class had birthdays in September?” and you will go “it's cold in the winter. it gets dark early, so parents cuddle a lot. It's sweet, Xmas love”. Kids are hilarious, and I’m anxious to see mine growing, learning, surprising me every day.
Well, the truth is we don’t need winter to cuddle. May is nice too, anytime is good. And so here I am now, with a sunray growing in my tummy. I hope she’s warm and comfortable in there, as right now is freezing in Prague. She’s 360grms already and according to the last check up she’s doing just fine. It’s hard to explain it in words, but I’m so excited and scared at the same time. Frightened to do anything that could harm her and excited because it’s simply amazing to be able to conceive life… I’m going to be a mom… I’m going to be a mom.
Today i declare myself a new “panza mujer” (belly-woman), as my belly is getting rounder and bigger, i simply love it! Someone even asked me today in the tram if I wanted a sit, guess I can’t hide it anymore, nor that i want to.
Two more days and the holidays will start, can’t wait. I’m so tired… September has squeezed me like a lemon, and to tell you the truth there’s not much left.
The apartment, here we are, we love the place, but there’s so much to do. They started with the kitchen on Thursday, we still have no idea of the furniture, and most of our stuff is still on boxes… I know we are lucky to have found this place, our home, but for the time being it will be a forlorn home sweet home . There’s dirt everywhere due to the works for the kitchen, and maybe because we haven’t clean much, but was the point if everything is so messy?? Is like were back to the student life…
We’ll clean one day,promised!
In the office is been crazy as well, David is working late almost everyday and I’m overloaded with stuff, of course everything is urgent and needs to be finished immediately. I just need to disconnect for a bit…forget about change requests, SAP customizing settings and the endless confcalls…
The evenings just fly away, I have the feeling I don’t turn out a nice penny off them. Apart from the days I go climbing or I decide to tidy up in our forlorn home sweet home. I keep telling myself it will take time to get things sorted out, but I’m so tired when I get home I just do nothing. Absolute zero. Not even diner, well mainly because there’s no kitchen I guess. See, I haven’t updated the blog for centuries…
Ivana came for a visit and then Tony and Sylvia. Ivana visited Praha for the first time. I totally agree with her when she says it looks like Disneyland, with all those millions of roving vagabonds - so called tourists - on the streets, camera on hold and map on the other hand. It’s like they are part of the scenario. But I think she like it here.
Les Dick are not new to this city, so we decided to take them to Krakow. First time for me too. The trip was long, but worth it. We rented an apartment in Kazimierz district. Once a very nice area but practically damaged and abandoned after the 2WW. It reminded me of Malasaña in Madrid. Nice ambiance to go out at night. On Sunday we visited Auschwitz… some other time I will speak about this visit, not now. Still hard to believe mankind possible of such atrocities.
